things you may not know about me...

i care about EVERYONE. doesn't matter how many times you have wronged me...i don't think i am able to hate people

i wish people would actually get to know me before they make a final decision about me

i am a visual person. if i give you something it is not to "show off" but it is how i show people that i care about them.

it is hard for me to be emotionally open with people.

my biggest fear in life is abandonment.

while my room may be a disaster i am super OCD about every other part of the house being clean

i want nothing more than to be a mom

temple marriage is more important to me than you will ever know.

i grew up surrounded by politics, i basically was raised in the capital building


i have 3 children


i got my drivers permit at 14 but started driving at 7


i have no personal boundaries


i worked at a florist


i am Mormon


i love ashli cooney


i dated a man name chuckinupameatball who was also 5 years younger than i thought he was


i have 2 adorable cats


i drive NON STOP! i am like a chauffeur


i was an only child for 8 years


i have partied with the NY JETS


i spent New Years Eve in Times Square


my friends and i are super indecisive


i am a workaholic


i love giving presents to see peoples faces

i have had an epidural (and survived!)

I AM 21! WAHOO

I am officially old.

and yes... I am spending my first day of being 21 blogging.

So what am I going to do this year? I know you all wanted to know...

                   I am just doing to be me... I am so sick of trying to change myself to make other people. Its not what I want to be doing. I want to be completely happy with who I am and what I am doing. When it comes down to it I am not living my life to please my roommates/friends/classmates, etc. I am living it for me and as long as I know that I am living the way that I know my Heavenly Father approves I am in.

                    I am going to work on my spirituality. I am not saying that I am not spiritual, but lets face it. Sometimes life gets crazy and you start losing the things that are the most important to you. My faith and my beliefs are what makes me who I am. I love my Heavenly Father an my older brother Jesus Christ. My beliefs have not wavered but I feel that this is as good of a time as any to strengthen my relationship with my Savior.

                   I want to work on my physical appearance. I want to be happier and healthier. Like I said earlier I am focusing on me. I have learned especially over the last year, that I don't really care what people think/say about me. I am just doing me. I just want to live a healthier and more productive lifestyle. That is it. End of story.

                   I am going  to start planning for the future. I am NOT saying I am  in a rush to get married and have kids! I have just been thinking a lot lately about my future and where I want to be in 5, 10, even 15 years. I just want to be emotionally, physically and spiritually prepared for whatever may happen in my life. So long story short, I don't want to have any "repairs" or changes I need to make before I can do something.

                   I am going to focus more on school and work. I am the happiest when I am working and to be able to get my life where I can just work full time and that means I need to get through school with good grades. It is time to get down to business!

                   It is time to volunteer more! I am so happy when I am focusing on other people! There is nothing that makes me happier then when I am with other people. Yes, I am a very social person but there is just something amazing about being able to make other people happy.

                   I am going to form better friendships. Yes I do have some amazing friends but sometimes I just feel so used. I just feel like people do not actually take time to know the real me, it is all about the first impression. I mean there is SO much more to me than what meets the eye. Its time that I get rid of the superficial, fake people that I feel like are not my true friends. I am done, it is a new year of my life and I am making crazy changes. It is all about me being happy. I have spent too much time trying to please other people.


I am pumped to start this new phase of my life. I am ready to be exactly where I want to be in my life! Hello happier Lauren!

I AM OFFICIALLY A BLOGGING FAILURE!

I am absolutely horrid at the game of blogging. I feel awful... not that anyone really reads this but it has kinda become my little secret way of expressing myself. Well on that note here I go on one of my mindless rampages again.

So, as I started off my Junior Year in college I decided that there were to be no relationships... no dumb guy drama. I had enough stupid guys in my life this summer. This was a year to have a clean drama free life only consumed by school, work, and friends. Well this plan might fail. I have started having feelings for someone. ughhhh... why now?! So now you ask...being a very mature adult how exactly does Lauren deal with this? The answer... keep myself super busy with school, work, roommates, gym and sleep. My excuse... I cant go out this week because I am drowning in homework and whoops I am going out of town this weekend.

I know this is awful and super immature, but honestly this just isn't the right time and he is a sweet guy but for some reason I don't trust him. ughhh. I hate this.

I hate being vulnerable. It scares the crap out of me! like seriously! I swear im going to die every time I let someone completely in and if I cant trust someone there is no way possible that I can let them in. Why can't I just find the perfect person and quit the terrible game of dating?!?!

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone
-Anonymous

mid week trip to Idaho Falls

So here I sit on my friend Kelsey's couch listening to her little girl Emma making noises in the background. Life is exciting in Idaho Falls this lovely supposedly spring day. It was an exciting day with little Emma, she goes from loving me to hating me in just seconds and that makes for some interesting times. A few minutes ago she was mad at me for tickling her and she decided she was going to hit me but just moments after that she was literally shoving cookies in my face because she wanted to share. Having a child try give you food is always interesting but with Emma she finds it completely necessary to shove the food as well as her whole hand into your mouth. This experience is actually somewhat painful. She has this little game that we have been playing on an off for the last hour where I put her socks on, she decides she wants them off, and then freaks out if I do not immediately put them back on her. It was entertaining the first 20 times but now I am exhausted and really don't feel like putting the socks on anymore. I am not sure what she thinks of me staying here for a few nights because she tends to follow me into places like the bathroom to watch me brush my teeth or into the kitchen and intensely watches me get a drink of water. She came into see who was in the bed this morning and she found me instead of her dad and I am sure she was throughly confused, but hey daddy was out of town so her mommy and I decided to have some girl time.

Today we went to the splendorous Grand Teton Mall and went shopping, well we had some nice browsing time at Victoria's Secret and ended up buying way more than we actually needed. Then we were off to fight the battle of bathing suit shopping. This little adventure ended successfully but sucked the whole time. Olive Garden was a nice relaxing lunch, with some yummy food!

This week has been fun seeing Kelsey, we haven't been able to spend much time together since Junior High.

My Grandma Marsh

My great grandma Marsh died on February 15, 2011. It has been more than a month but she is still fresh on my mind and I miss her terribly. Grandma had been sick for years, I think she started showing Alzheimer symptoms shortly after the death of her son, my Uncle Phil. For the last of grandmas life on earth she was in a lot of pain, she was on bed rest and required additional help at home. This was hard for my great grandpa, he loved grandma more than anything and I worry about him everyday since her passing. Grandma was a huge part of my life. When my dad was in the legislature we lived with my great grandparents. I pretty much grew up with grandma there. I have found myself remembering silly things from my childhood. There are so many amazing memories, one particular thing that I remember is sticking a sticker on a light switch cover. Grandma loved that, it is still there and that was at least 17 years ago. It is crazy thinking about grandma not being a call away but I know she so much happier and she is no longer in pain. I think it is amazing that my grandma will know my children before I do. Grandmas funeral was a little different than usual. We have a serious shortage of men in my family so half of the Casket Bearers were Great Granddaughters. I had the honor of being part of this. It was a little unusual but I am sure that grandma wouldn't have it done any other way. Grandma was such a loving person and I am so thankful that I am her great granddaughter.

My Uncle Phil died on January 26th, 2004. This was 2 days before my 13th birthday. My uncle Phil was a huge part of my life. Everything I can remember about my Uncle Phil makes me smile. He was an amazing person. I r

emember playing in the backyard with him when I was young and he was holding onto my arms and spinning me around, my puppie Gussie heard me squealing and she thought he was hurting me and she bit his butt. It was so funny, especially to a young kid. We learned a very important lesson that day, although Gussie was a little mutt she was protective of me (her girl). Uncle Phil used to take my cousin Halley and I out for ice cream on Saturdays. He would pick us up in her convertible and put our carseats in the backseat of the red convertible and off we would go. I am sure it was an interesting site with us in the backseat, but it is one of my best memories. When Uncle Phil died I thought the world was going to end. I remember sitting by his headstone and bawling my eyes out. Uncle Phil was younger when he died. He was in this early 50's. He had a hard life, he had bipolar and he had cancer which eventually took his live. Watching him struggle with his bipolar was hard for me and since I was diagnosed I can relate and understand better his struggle. He was such a wonderful man and I think of him all of the time.

I have been blessed with an amazing family. I would never change them for anything, they are mine and no matter the craziness I love them.

dang... i am officially terrible at the game of blogging!

today as i sat in my comfy sweats attempting to start my online classes i was letting my mind wander, guess what it wandered to?! MY FORGOTTEN BLOG! well dearest blog you are no longer forgotten, i am back to you. I have been back in New Jersey since the 17th of December ( it was supposed to be the 16th but due to unfortunate flight cancellations in SLC my arrival date home was postponed). Within hours of my arrival home my family and I attended our ward Christmas party. It was sooo nice seeing everyone again!!!

Well this Christmas we journeyed to North Carolina to spend the holidays with my Uncle Mark and his kids.We divided the drive down to cover 2 days and we stayed in Baltimore, MD in a pretty nice hotel! We ate dinner at this amazing seafood joint called Mo's and it was absolutly

delicious. I even liked the oysters which i never like! yayyy!

Christmas in the Jensen household is always an adventure. With 3 parents and 8 kids (3 of these being over 18) the house tends to be a bit insane. It was lovely seeing my cousins and catching up with them. Christmas Eve all 5 of the Jensen cousins were at my beautiful Aunt Julies house, and my parents as well as my Uncle Mark were out doing their last minute Christmas shopping. I being the loving sister that I am went outside to play football with my siblings. Good intentions on my part but it was a stupid move. After about an hour of football the injury occurred... for those who know me well you all saw this coming. I threw the ball and the sister hit me from the side and then there it was the POP! that I was expecting. Now even i was surprised where the injury was, I was expecting one of my newly (both knees were operated on within 2 years the latest being 6 months ago) fixed knees, but nope... it was the back. yep. The very skilled in the department of injuring herself Lauren had successfully sprained her back. As I sit on the front lawn unable to move I called my dad notifying him that i would be patiently awaiting his arrival home to help me. About 10 minutes after I made this call my mom pulled up and unaware of what had happened asked me to help unload the car, I politely informed her that I really would love to but i couldn't move so it would not be happening. My dad pulled up just moments after with my Uncle Mark. After I was able to stand (kinda) the great debate started. hospital (dad) vs. no hospital/im fine (lauren). Long story short I lost and spent the evening at WakeMed. It was a lovely facility filled with even lovelier drugs to take away the pain. So after a painful evaluation and a less painful shot into the hip we were off to the pharmacy. Do you know how hard it is to find a Pharmacy that is open at 9 on Christmas Eve? to answer this question.... NEAR IMPOSSIBLE! We had to drive all the way to Raleigh which is about 30 minutes from my uncles house!

Christmas was amazing nonetheless. Being surrounded by people you love is the best! After sleeping for the next 2 days as a result of pain meds and muscle relaxers I was feeling better and ready to party!

I was able to have a lovely day with my Aunt Julie who I absolutely adore. After picking her car up we went out to lunch and a place whose name has temporary slipped my mind but they had fabulous hot sauces! I even bought one! yayyyy! after a nice tour through Raleigh we picked up my cousin Bailey and we were off to get mani/pedi's. It was amazing! i love being pampered! So after we were looking pretty hot with our freshly painted nails we were off to starbucks to get something to warm us up. Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate is amazing! After our detour to Starbucks we went to the mall! and i must say i am the proud new owner of my first lipstick! yayyyy!

The next day was the sad day we left NC. My dad was brilliant this year and decided to break the 14 hour drive into two days. The hotel we stayed out on the way home was called the GayLord National. IT WAS AMAZING! They had a fountain inside that they used in a show and then it snowed inside! It was super impressive!

Finals Week & Blessings of the Priesthood

This week is crazy! I have soooo much to do before I can go home next Thursday... accounting, economics, business stats, and science tests. A 3-5 page paper for Doctrine and Covenants and oh so much more! Today, I received an email from my friend Matthew who is currently Elder Cielo :) He is serving in the Canada, Vancouver mission. It was great hearing from him! i miss him terribly! So yesterday I got another mystery delivery of Chocolate Covered Strawberries! They are delicious... just like the first box, but this whole creeper secret admirer thing is starting to... well... creep me out! I mean at first it was kinda cute but it has gone from cute to creep lauren out! I have been thinking lately about the power of the priesthood and how different my life would be without it. The more i thought about it the more thankful I was that I know the truth and that I am able to have worthy priesthood holders in my life. The gospel brings so much comfort to my life and that no matter what I am struggling with my Heavenly Father is there for me and knows what struggles i have and He is there to help me though it. I have been struggling with a lot lately and no matter how down life gets I know that if I turn to my Heavenly Father he is always there for me with open arms willing to help me. Im not saying that its easy, but it has definitely been worth it. I cannot honestly tell you that anything that I have had to endure through was a bad thing, I can see the impact that it has had on my life and I am see the positive things that have come from every difficult situation. Looking back i can think of things that I thought were torture at the time but now I cant imagine not having to go through them. I can honestly say that without the Gospel, the Priesthood, and trials that I have gone through I would not be the person I am today.